I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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