He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i dont even know how to be here
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
