i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
