can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
