So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
