Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
