I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
