Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
