Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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