Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Text me some of your sweat
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
