We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I need a burrito and a hug.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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