It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize