im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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