I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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