Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
