i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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