How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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