And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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