So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
