You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
