i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
