So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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