She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
