All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
