the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
