When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
