do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize