3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
