You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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