I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
