I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
