I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
