just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize