I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
