no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
