Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
