i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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