So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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