He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
