My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The Olympian is in my bed
I have tasted many bathrooms
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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