Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
