I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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