Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
