So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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