Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
