I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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