Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
