I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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