I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
