somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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