my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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