Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
