I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
