I love black thongs
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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