So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
