Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
