so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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