Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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