If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
