Your tits are I can't wait for
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize