Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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