Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Blood and glitter go together right?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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