remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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