I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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