he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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