Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
