you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
