what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
