Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
