you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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