my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
