I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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